My insecurity yields His victory.

Ironic, right? My insecurity leads to spiritual victory. However, the road which I have to travel to get there is rough and plagued with stubbornness.

Let me say that again: I am stubborn. Say it's in the Little blood, say it's a product of my circumstances, but it is the truth. Lately it has been keeping me from complete and total communion with the Lord. I am stubborn in the spiritual realm... believing that I can do it all on my own. (The Bible doesn't say that; it says "I can do all things through Christ.") Believing that a little of Jesus here and there is okay. Believing that I am immune to certain sin. It's at that point, people, when the devil takes a hold. Lying is his specialty. He's had quite a few years and then some to practice and he is relentless in it. So... I start to believe the lies in the spiritual and they pour into the physical realm.

Insecurity is debilitating and back-breaking. But it's not until it shows itself in the physical realm that I do anything about it. My stubbornness leads to insecurity.

And it's in the realization for the 1,684,286th time that the Lord is my strength that I finally relent and let Him drive.

Proverbs 18:10 sheds light on this. "The name of the LORD is a strong tower; The righteous runs into it and is safe."

Just the very name of the Lord is a strong tower. It doesn't say that the righteous run into it when such-and-such happens...  it says that they just run. Who cares when. The righteous recognizes that the Lord is his strength and he just runs. No questions asked.

No amount of worldly securities could ever overshadow the fact that only the Lord (Yahweh) is my strong tower. No amount of money, practice, education, experience, relationships can replace the strength that is in the very name of the Lord. Verse 11 goes on to say, "A rich man's wealth is his strong city, And like a high wall in his own imagination."

I need to learn to speak up. Why did I ever think I could just "think" a prayer? The strength and victory of the Lord needs to be claimed verbally. The enemy needs to know from Whom we draw our strength.

It is some times like these that I am glad the sun sets on a day when I have experienced embarrassment and insecurity and a new day can dawn in which I claim the strength of Yahweh, Jehovah, Alpha & Omega. Verse 12 says, "Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, But humility goes before honor." (NASB) I want to experience humility tomorrow.


Maybe someday I won't have to learn my lesson the hard way, but I am thankful the Lord is in the details; He knew them before I was even an earthly thought.